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[Jul. 5th, 2009|12:18 pm] |
BUMPITS!
Look like a fucking retard in just seconds. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|09:07 am] |
I'm taking care of a 3 week old orphaned pitbull.
the owners have been feeding it store bought milk.
bad!
anyone have experience dealing with puppies this small? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|08:44 am] |
I really feel like Pink's music video for Please Don't Leave Me is an exact metaphor for the way I treat my husband.
That's not nice.
On a side note I totally found a karaoke channel in the freezone for on demand.
anyone up for it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|12:29 am] |
Last week after a 3 day drug binge I finally crashed so hard I couldn't deny it.
I'm an addict.
Since then I have become part of NA(narcotics anonymous) got a sponser and have began my 90 meetings in 90 days.
I'm on day 3 of being clean for life, annnnnnnnnnd I ALREADY GOT 2 KEYCHAINS!!!!
the other ones are going to be harder to obtain though :/
I'm pretty sure this is going to change a lot of things for the better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|01:44 pm] |
A family friend (more like beloved little sister) is hanging out at my house a few times a week this summer.
I don't see her often and we have had so much fun.
I haven't had this kind of pure innocent fun in soooooooo long.
It's great for the soul.
Her 12 year old self put me through a refresher course on how to take proper myspace pictures.
Beginner
Novice
Getting better
At this point I have once again earned the title expert myspace picture taker.
Too bad no one takes that seriously on my resume.
I also had the urge to draw anime characters, and I haven't done that since junior high.
and yes, her being Asian just may have triggered it.
but it was still FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!!
This girl rocks.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2009|02:28 am] |
Upon research, it has been fulfilling to know that I have every right to be scarred from watching the 1978 animated movie Watership Down at the ripe age of 4.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2009|11:13 pm] |
I have been converted...
TREKKIE! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2009|12:46 pm] |
So one of the main things livejournal is used for is bragging about terrible things that have happened to oneself, correct?
I haven't done that in awhile and I totally have something brag-worthy.
almost exactly a week ago I overdosed.
lots of booze and 60 xanax.
I really don't remember taking most of the pills (fuck, I can't remember last sunday through wednesday).
but I do remember taking about 6 pills at one point thinking "aw fuck, let's see what happens".
I'm pretty glad I don't remember those 4 days i did some pretty embarassing stuff from what I've heard.
Last Monday night apparently I went to a friends house, got REALLY drunk, took off most of my clothes(surprise!),then jumped out of a moving vehicle to run through the orange groves bare footed.
Last Tuesday(overdove day) I apparently played dress up for a few hours in front of my baby sister, my husband and my mother. Then I demanded to go sun-tanning out in the back yard.
They all thought I being pretty funny until until I started convulsing. Then they checked the medicine cabinet and saw the empty bottle of pills.
Away to the emergency room I went, completely unresponsive the whole way.
Once I got there however, is a whole different story.
I wasn't really doing anything until they tried to stick an IV in me.
Then appaerently I went off the fucking handle.
Screaming "Fuck this, get the fuck away from me!" ect ect.
I guess a nurse told me to stop swearing and I said
"FUCK OFF BITCH"
yeah I'm kinda proud of that one.
I guess I became unresponsive again.
Apparently I was almost intubated but I finally started breathing on my own.
they stuck a tube down my nose and filled my stomach with charcoal.
I got a CT.
and I finally woke up 36 hours later in the ICU.
Having no memory of the last 4 days of my life.
My babysitting aide (I was obviously on suicide watch).
Told me what happened and I took a nap.
Thankfully while I was conscious I mostly had really awesome male aides and a male nurse.
Because I've noticed that nice female nurses and aides are few and far between.
So I'm pretty sure the lady I told to fuck off deserved it.
Anyway I got out of there fairly quickly with a new lease on life.
obviously something isn't right up-top.
so now I have weekly appointments with my therapist.
and monthly appointments with a psychiatrist.
I've accepted the diagnosis of clinically depressed.
with bunches of other things.
I've sworn off alchohol
and I am looking at life with a whole new perspective.
I'm just so thankful that I have my husband to help me through this, without him I really really would be fucked.
Top that one bitches. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|12:51 am] |
at this moment in time I am feeling very manic.
I have this need to talk to people online.
it feels like high school all over.
but maybe I'm not really manic since I can state that I'm manic?
imweirdtheend |
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| SIN SIN SIN!!! |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|11:44 pm] |
Sin all you want to my children, God can't see. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|12:01 am] |
Do any of you or anyone you know want a free male white-faced cockatiel?
He'll come with a cage, a travel cage, toys, 1 almost new big bag of bird food,and 1 almost new big bag of fruit pellets.
I really want him to go to someone I know (even if only by LJ). Or even someone I don't know.
I just don't want to have to craigslist him...craigslist scares me. |
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| Part 4 This one's gonna be good (Can't sleep...too many thoughts keep trying to get out...damnit!) |
[Feb. 1st, 2009|01:56 am] |
ADELE
THE PRELUDE
...my poor baby sister definitely needs a prelude.
I was the first child. (Not counting an older half sister and brother who were at least 12 years older than me and weren't in the picture very often).
But I was the first child my parents made together.
I was bathed in SO much attention, when Abby came I was still so young I didn't care about attention, I was able to adapt, we both shared this wonderful attention without trouble.
Oh what a utopia it was...you really have no idea.
Our parents gave us almost anything...and we could get away with anything
(we were a true juggernaut)
and nothing could stop us.
Yeah there were time-outs and "spankings" (they barely even stung)
But we could deal with those and just keep on going.
At least that's what we thought...
The first time we found out we had it all wrong...
We had made up a game.
(we had a talent for making up strange games "I'll get to that later")
The game consisted of kicking our 8 and a half month pregnant and hormonal mother, and hiding under the kitchen table where she couldn't get us.
Mind you,
I wasn't even four,
Abby was only 2 and a half,
we didn't know what pregnant was,
and at that moment the most important thing was the:
Make Mom Scream and Don't Get Hit Game
"Can you get away before mom grabs you?!"
*and beats the living shit out of you*"
...We should have worked with Hasbro.
*It's a good thing that we were great at that game*
~It's very likely that we could be dead right now.
~Have you ever been around a almost due pregnant lady?
~They can be VERY SCARY.
Talk about crazy fucking terrible toddlers.
Anyways,Dad came home from work early that day...
and we learned what a real spanking was.
If it were today and it had been caught on video, it would have been one of those huge blown up news stories of parents beating their kid.
"FATHER COMES HOME FROM WORK AND SEVERELY BEATS CHILDREN FOR NO APPARENT REASON...ARE THE CHILDREN OKAY?...TUNE IN TONIGHT TO SEE THE REST OF THE STORY!!!"
When all it was, was a spanking...a well deserved almost crossing the line spanking.
but it was definitely deserved.
and then when Adele was born...my life REALLY turned the fuck upside down. |
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| Part 3 (This part might be boring...I dunno) |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|08:46 pm] |
I remember taking a toddlers ballet/tap class, Abby couldn't take it because she was still too young.
I remember my parents taking me to the studio to sign me up and see what size ballet slipper i needed.
I remember seeing all the big girl ballerinas walk out of class with their beautiful outfits while I was waiting for my parents to do whatever parents do, and I couldn't wait to be like them.
I remember going to the store and buying real ballerina slippers...and also the tap shoes, Oh the tap shoes! I had no idea how glorious those tap shoes were going to be.
I remember the teacher always fixing my arms in ballet class, I couldn't ever get them right, I ended up hating the ballet part. But it was worth getting through it, because after that I got to put on my beautiful shiny tap shoes that tied up with a big beautiful bow, and made the most amazing noise when I walked on the wooden dance floors.
I remember one day after class I was packing up my things and I accidentally took another girls shoes that were exactly like mine.
I remember seeing the girl from my dance class crying to her mother and pointing at me after class one day in the lobby, where the parents wait. She stopped me and made me open my bag, she found her daughters shoes and accused me of doing it on purpose, by that time my mother had found me in the herd of other children.
I was crying so hard and I was so confused because I didn't remember taking them, and I knew I was in trouble.
But my mother did something unexpected and defended me and she gave that mother what for.
I remember crying the whole way home telling my mom it was an accident (which she already knew)
but i still felt so bad.
I went to dance class a few more times but then I stopped going because my parents explained to me that we had a new baby coming. (whatever that meant).
and I had to stop taking classes because my parents were going to need the money. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|04:51 pm] |
I feel so worthless right now.
I don't know if I'm ever gonna be good enough.
Why can't I just feel complete!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2009|04:50 pm] |
Nevermind the life whole story thing.
apparently it's annoying some people.
So Now I'm just gonna use it to bitch and moan. |
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| Part 1 So many new memories... |
[Jan. 30th, 2009|02:45 am] |
I think I'm going to start using this thing to tell my story.
I could just be full of myself, but with recent events opening up a HUMONGOUS can of worms and memories, I'm beginning to think it's a story worth telling.
I'm not trying to get pity or attention, I just feel this need to tell it from the very beginning and keep on going.
ABBY
She was 18 months younger than me. I was too young to remember her being born, and we had/have an extraordinarily close tie to each other.
I swear I'm not nuts, but I remember crawling up to her in her bouncy chair before she could crawl and communicating with her, I don't know what about (it feels like it's, right at the edge of my memory).
Anyways after that we were bonded forever.
I think it happened because fate/god/whatever saw what a twisted freakshow ride our lives were going to be. and with what eventually followed, I really don't believe we would have survived without it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|12:03 am] |
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I love my sister...but not the sister kind of love. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|06:42 pm] |
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I AM KEEPER OF THE EGGS!!! |
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