| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|02:46 pm] |
I've decided to begin my book.
If anyone has ANY good...or bad... or anything stories to contribute please do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|03:20 am] |
Tonight it just randomly hit me with full force.
He's leaving in 16 days.
why the fuck did I have to realize this at 10pm.
now it's 3, maybe I can get a nap in.
FUCKSLEEPIWISHIWASAVAMPIRE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2009|10:16 pm] |
Two weeks ago my tarantula escaped and I was pretty sure my dog ate it. Then yesterday I found her just walking down the hallway, with only seven legs.
That was probably a pretty awesome adventure. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2009|12:51 pm] |
My mother has a church friend over and she just said
well if you stop having anal sex your rash will go away. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|03:07 pm] |
If the government is trying to control my brain through television
I don't care
cause it's fucking awesome. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2009|11:58 am] |
Last night I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop laughing.
My husband kept talking in his sleep, and he was saying some of the funniest things I have ever heard.
I wrote them down and when I went over them in the morning they were even funnier.
here they are.
Guggis: FUCK CAR INSURANCE!
Me: What?
Guggis: Car insurance! You've been trying to get car insurance for that spot for like a bajillion years.
...........................................
Guggis: Any fucking idiot can get airtight hair.
...........................................
in a singsong voice after I told him to scoot his butt over twice
Guggis: THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT
...........................................
Guggis: Sociopaths have a great deal in shopping. They like it cheap.
...........................................
Guggis: You know what I'd like?
I'd like it if the Jews and The Mighty Boosh were a hockey team,
and they became The Power Rangers...that's you.
...........................................
Guggis: You can't make it look worse.
Me: What are you talking about?
Guggis: The hempinata.
Guggis: Fuck! What else would I be talking about!?
............................................
after pulling the covers off of him, completely erect with his hands behind his head
Guggis: Somebody wants a mushroom ride.
............................................
Guggis: You can't be serious
Your a bitch.
Turn off the light!
I love you!
He's so fantastic. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|12:18 pm] |
BUMPITS!
Look like a fucking retard in just seconds. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|09:07 am] |
I'm taking care of a 3 week old orphaned pitbull.
the owners have been feeding it store bought milk.
bad!
anyone have experience dealing with puppies this small? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|08:44 am] |
I really feel like Pink's music video for Please Don't Leave Me is an exact metaphor for the way I treat my husband.
That's not nice.
On a side note I totally found a karaoke channel in the freezone for on demand.
anyone up for it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|12:29 am] |
Last week after a 3 day drug binge I finally crashed so hard I couldn't deny it.
I'm an addict.
Since then I have become part of NA(narcotics anonymous) got a sponser and have began my 90 meetings in 90 days.
I'm on day 3 of being clean for life, annnnnnnnnnd I ALREADY GOT 2 KEYCHAINS!!!!
the other ones are going to be harder to obtain though :/
I'm pretty sure this is going to change a lot of things for the better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|01:44 pm] |
A family friend (more like beloved little sister) is hanging out at my house a few times a week this summer.
I don't see her often and we have had so much fun.
I haven't had this kind of pure innocent fun in soooooooo long.
It's great for the soul.
Her 12 year old self put me through a refresher course on how to take proper myspace pictures.
Beginner
Novice
Getting better
At this point I have once again earned the title expert myspace picture taker.
Too bad no one takes that seriously on my resume.
I also had the urge to draw anime characters, and I haven't done that since junior high.
and yes, her being Asian just may have triggered it.
but it was still FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!!
This girl rocks.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2009|02:28 am] |
Upon research, it has been fulfilling to know that I have every right to be scarred from watching the 1978 animated movie Watership Down at the ripe age of 4.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2009|11:13 pm] |
I have been converted...
TREKKIE! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2009|12:46 pm] |
So one of the main things livejournal is used for is bragging about terrible things that have happened to oneself, correct?
I haven't done that in awhile and I totally have something brag-worthy.
almost exactly a week ago I overdosed.
lots of booze and 60 xanax.
I really don't remember taking most of the pills (fuck, I can't remember last sunday through wednesday).
but I do remember taking about 6 pills at one point thinking "aw fuck, let's see what happens".
I'm pretty glad I don't remember those 4 days i did some pretty embarassing stuff from what I've heard.
Last Monday night apparently I went to a friends house, got REALLY drunk, took off most of my clothes(surprise!),then jumped out of a moving vehicle to run through the orange groves bare footed.
Last Tuesday(overdove day) I apparently played dress up for a few hours in front of my baby sister, my husband and my mother. Then I demanded to go sun-tanning out in the back yard.
They all thought I being pretty funny until until I started convulsing. Then they checked the medicine cabinet and saw the empty bottle of pills.
Away to the emergency room I went, completely unresponsive the whole way.
Once I got there however, is a whole different story.
I wasn't really doing anything until they tried to stick an IV in me.
Then appaerently I went off the fucking handle.
Screaming "Fuck this, get the fuck away from me!" ect ect.
I guess a nurse told me to stop swearing and I said
"FUCK OFF BITCH"
yeah I'm kinda proud of that one.
I guess I became unresponsive again.
Apparently I was almost intubated but I finally started breathing on my own.
they stuck a tube down my nose and filled my stomach with charcoal.
I got a CT.
and I finally woke up 36 hours later in the ICU.
Having no memory of the last 4 days of my life.
My babysitting aide (I was obviously on suicide watch).
Told me what happened and I took a nap.
Thankfully while I was conscious I mostly had really awesome male aides and a male nurse.
Because I've noticed that nice female nurses and aides are few and far between.
So I'm pretty sure the lady I told to fuck off deserved it.
Anyway I got out of there fairly quickly with a new lease on life.
obviously something isn't right up-top.
so now I have weekly appointments with my therapist.
and monthly appointments with a psychiatrist.
I've accepted the diagnosis of clinically depressed.
with bunches of other things.
I've sworn off alchohol
and I am looking at life with a whole new perspective.
I'm just so thankful that I have my husband to help me through this, without him I really really would be fucked.
Top that one bitches. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|12:51 am] |
at this moment in time I am feeling very manic.
I have this need to talk to people online.
it feels like high school all over.
but maybe I'm not really manic since I can state that I'm manic?
imweirdtheend |
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| SIN SIN SIN!!! |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|11:44 pm] |
Sin all you want to my children, God can't see. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|12:01 am] |
Do any of you or anyone you know want a free male white-faced cockatiel?
He'll come with a cage, a travel cage, toys, 1 almost new big bag of bird food,and 1 almost new big bag of fruit pellets.
I really want him to go to someone I know (even if only by LJ). Or even someone I don't know.
I just don't want to have to craigslist him...craigslist scares me. |
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| Part 4 This one's gonna be good (Can't sleep...too many thoughts keep trying to get out...damnit!) |
[Feb. 1st, 2009|01:56 am] |
ADELE
THE PRELUDE
...my poor baby sister definitely needs a prelude.
I was the first child. (Not counting an older half sister and brother who were at least 12 years older than me and weren't in the picture very often).
But I was the first child my parents made together.
I was bathed in SO much attention, when Abby came I was still so young I didn't care about attention, I was able to adapt, we both shared this wonderful attention without trouble.
Oh what a utopia it was...you really have no idea.
Our parents gave us almost anything...and we could get away with anything
(we were a true juggernaut)
and nothing could stop us.
Yeah there were time-outs and "spankings" (they barely even stung)
But we could deal with those and just keep on going.
At least that's what we thought...
The first time we found out we had it all wrong...
We had made up a game.
(we had a talent for making up strange games "I'll get to that later")
The game consisted of kicking our 8 and a half month pregnant and hormonal mother, and hiding under the kitchen table where she couldn't get us.
Mind you,
I wasn't even four,
Abby was only 2 and a half,
we didn't know what pregnant was,
and at that moment the most important thing was the:
Make Mom Scream and Don't Get Hit Game
"Can you get away before mom grabs you?!"
*and beats the living shit out of you*"
...We should have worked with Hasbro.
*It's a good thing that we were great at that game*
~It's very likely that we could be dead right now.
~Have you ever been around a almost due pregnant lady?
~They can be VERY SCARY.
Talk about crazy fucking terrible toddlers.
Anyways,Dad came home from work early that day...
and we learned what a real spanking was.
If it were today and it had been caught on video, it would have been one of those huge blown up news stories of parents beating their kid.
"FATHER COMES HOME FROM WORK AND SEVERELY BEATS CHILDREN FOR NO APPARENT REASON...ARE THE CHILDREN OKAY?...TUNE IN TONIGHT TO SEE THE REST OF THE STORY!!!"
When all it was, was a spanking...a well deserved almost crossing the line spanking.
but it was definitely deserved.
and then when Adele was born...my life REALLY turned the fuck upside down. |
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